Blest with sons

I thought this was hilarious.

You’re Dune!
by Frank Herbert
You have control over a great wealth of resources, but no one wants to
let you have them. You’ve decided to try to defend yourself, but it may take eons before
you really get back what you feel you deserve. Meanwhile you have a cult-like following
of minions waiting for your life to progress. This would all be even more exciting if you
could just get the sand out of your eyes.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Now if I could just get my cult-like following of minions to clean my house.

Wave of the bonnet to The Common Room

I was chatting with my firstborn last week about such light and fluffy subjects as “What God Thinks of Us”… I can’t remember, unfortunately, how exactly we got onto the subject. Though I think it has something to do with Romans Chapter 8. I’m working on memorizing it, so the boys are hearing it chanted out loud - A LOT. That has led to several quizzical looks and questions of “What does that mean?” I think I was explaining the flesh and the Spirit and how the flesh is corrupt and so without the Spirit we are, well, bad! Anyway, at some point in the discussion, my son said “Well yeah, but God thinks we’re wonderful anyway.”

I was a bit taken aback. “No….” I said carefully. “The Bible doesn’t say God thinks we’re wonderful. What does Romans 5:8 say?”

He dutifully repeated “But God demonstrates His own love for us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”

“Exactly - He LOVED us while we were unsaved. But He didn’t think we were wonderful.”

This little exchange really got me thinking. First of all, I was wondering where he got that idea from. Was it from that VeggieTales tagline “God made you special and He loves you very much”? Was it all the modern self-esteem mumbo-jumbo that floats around in the air? I don’t know that it was really any of that. What hit me square between the eyes was that he thought that loving someone and thinking they were wonderful were the same thing. And as I mulled that over, I realized that I’ve been thinking that too! Isn’t that how love is portrayed constantly through movies, music, and books? Love is being besotted - thinking that the beloved is just so overwhelmingly fabulous. That everything he or she does is adorable, fascinating, charming, and practically perfect in every way. The goal - find someone that is, to you, so wonderful that you will always think he or she is wonderful - and if you at any point don’t think they’re wonderful…you must not be in love anymore and better go find someone else who is wonderful.

I have had LONG stretches of discontent in my married life because a) I didn’t think my husband was all that day-in-day-out wonderful and b) I knew for sure that he didn’t think I was all that wonderful either. After all, he wasn’t telling me I was wonderful. He didn’t look at me like I was wonderful. And besides, I live with me and I know all the reasons I’m NOT wonderful. He couldn’t possibly be overlooking all of those, so he couldn’t think I was wonderful, so therefore he did not love me enough.

Sound ridiculously immature and irrational to you? Yuh-huh. That’s how it sounds to me too.

We all know the phrase Love is a Verb…but it’s almost impossible to get away from the mindset that Love is a Feeling. And because deep, deep down I had the false equation that LOVE = “Thinking someone is wonderful”, I found it very hard to believe my husband loves me. And I struggled desperately to believe that God loved me. After all, nobody knows me better than God. I’ve never deluded myself into thinking I could hide anything from Him…so if I know I’m not wonderful, He really knows I’m not. Therefore….He couldn’t love me.

But Love is not a feeling. Love is not a thought. Love is not blind, as the poet says.

Love sees the truth and acts lovingly anyway. Love is patient and kind and forgiving and hopeful and enduring. Love is self-sacrificing. Human love is in the day-to-day, down in the trenches sticking together and laughing and crying and struggling together. Love is the glue that forms between two people as they walk through life together - even when some days they really want to run the other way. Love is that my husband doesn’t think I’m practically perfect, magically enchanting, or even all-that-wonderful…but he loves me anyway and comes home to me every night. (and sometimes maybe he does think I’m pretty cool - maybe a bit… )

And God? God sees me so clearly. God knows what I am, inside and out. And He sent His Son to suffer and die on a cross to buy me back from sin and death. It wasn’t because He thought I was wonderful, either. It was just because He Is Love and that’s what Love does.

Last week, I was reading The Complete Fairy Tales of George MacDonald. I never thought to be totally shredded by conviction from a fairy tale, but God is cool like that. I’ll write about the conviction some other time, but this little exchange near the end of the story brought the truth about the juxtaposition of God’s Love with His true view of the sinner.

The princess understood, and a flush of shame rose to her forehead. She turned to the wise woman and said:

“Will you forgive all my naughtiness, and all the trouble I have given you?”

“If I had not forgiven you, I would never have taken the trouble to punish you. If I had not loved you, do you think I would have carried you away in my cloak?”

“How could you love such an ugly, ill-tempered, rude, hateful little wretch?”

“I saw, through it all, what you were going to be,” said the wise woman, kissing her. “But remember you have yet only begun to be what I saw.”

God looks beyond our sinfulness, and He knows what He can make out of us. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, mind you. I’m not saying that underneath our sin, we are still wonderful in ourselves and that’s why He loves us. No. There is no cause for self-satisfaction, or thinking I was somehow worthy to be saved. In myself, I am not. But God knows what He can do with me. He loved me, carried me away, covered me with the cloak of Christ’s blood, and began the long process of shaping me to His plan. When He’s done, I will be wonderful - but only because of Him, through Him, in Him, and for Him. Inasmuch as I reflect the WONDER that is God, I will be wonder-full.

1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

You may have umpteen storebought lightsabers with telescoping blades (though none that make sounds, thank God). But they cannot compare to the ones you just helped manufacture out of toilet paper tubes, construction paper, and packing tape. No way. Huh uh.

It was the seven year old’s idea, by the way. He decorated the handle on his own and came looking for scissors and tape for the rest. Mommy couldn’t resist and helped with the blades.

Say, if I can make lightsabers…does that mean I’m a Jedi?

And why do we buy them toys anyway??

We’re discussing the overview questions for Philippians over on One Weigh Or Another. Feel free to come visit!

Complete List of Overview Questions
First Discussion Post
Second Discussion Post

So I’m all fired up, by God’s incredible lovingkindness, grace, and tenacious grip, about our Lord and His Word. It’s good to be in this place. And I thought I was done blogging…but then God gave me something to say again… so here I am!

But what else is going on?

Music, mostly. Piano, drums, singing… Music! My oldest up and tried to quit piano last month. I think it’s his annual New Year’s resolution. He was so cute. I calmly asked him why he wanted to quit, and he tilted his head, flopped his hands dramatically, and sighed “Oh…it just doesn’t feel right for me.”

I told him I totally respected his feelings..and that he was sticking with piano anyway.

I told him how I could quickly and easily find him fifty adults who wished their parents had made them stick with piano. How it was a skill he would value in years to come. (and it will impress the chicks…but I didn’t tell him that) And, most importantly, I didn’t see how it could be “not right” for him when God had so obviously given him the talent for it. The kid is good! Really! And it was a surprise to us. We originally started piano for our prodigy Andrew - not Daniel. Daniel started on a whim, and turned out to be great. If he didn’t have a musical genius (and I’m not exaggerating, my 2nd really is) for a younger brother, I think he’d see more that he’s very talented in his own right. Anyway…being the mean mommy that I am, I also told him that if he doesn’t do piano, he doesn’t get to do drums. He’s not thrilled, but he is soldiering on. And I’m loving it because he and Andrew both have progressed to “real” music like Schumann and Bach. Plus I got his teacher to give us some Star Wars sheet music, because I’m not always the meanest mom in the world.

Drums are thumping along as usual. They’re preparing for a recital which I will have to videotape. I can’t wait to see it because there are some top secret ensemble numbers, one of which is a stomping, clapping, chanting deal that promises to be both exciting and hilarious. And there is another drummer in da house now… ME!

(please excuse my appearance, I’ve been sick for weeks and I have pinkeye!)

I LOVE my djembe. Playing gives me the most amazing thrill…OOH! I thought I was just learning to play this one drum - but the boys’ teacher, who is now my teacher, says I’m in training to play percussion at church. I’m intimidated…but excited as well! I remember wanting to play the drums when I was a little girl. (though now that I’m raising drummers, I totally understand why my parents said OOhhhhhh NO!) It’s great to finally get to do this, and to be learning something new. I think from now one, my New Year’s resolution will be to pick a new skill for the coming year (last year was wirework, by the way). Just think of all the good it’s doing my neurons!

I’m still beading - and trying to make a business of it. Setting up a business account made me feel all official and has probably saved my marriage. It’s a lot harder to impulse shop for beads when I can *see* the money coming in and going out. My business account keeps me in touch with my inner adult, you see.

I finally saw the movie Amazing Grace. If you haven’t seen it, don’t bother renting it. Just save yourself the time and buy it. It’s that good.

Other than that…my vision is full of laundry, laundry, and more laundry. Say, did you know that when you have four boys you do about 4 loads of darks to every load of lights?

And with that stirring statistic, I’ll return you to regularly scheduled programming!

Mirrors are funny things. You know, last year when I was still losing weight, I loved looking in the mirror. And after hit goal, even more so! I was so entranced by that stranger looking back at me. For the first time in my life, I liked who I saw there. I thought she was, though not a super-model, rather pretty! Mirrors had become my friend, rather than my enemy, and I couldn’t pass one without stopping to say hello.

But somewhere in the last few months, things changed. The same girl, the same body, yet the reflection seemed different. I didn’t think I looked all that good anymore. Instead of thinking I looked slender and maybe even attractive, I thought I looked chunky. Too thick here, too thin there…. Just not good. I even had moments of bursting into tears and telling the reflection how much I hated her. (gotta love that female chemistry, eh?)

I was talking to my mom about it, and I mentioned to her how where I once avoided mirrors because I was fat, now I was having to avoid them because I’m not! Oh the irony. But I’m trying to learn not to look at myself, beyond the required hair & make-up visits of course. The same day as that conversation with my mom, God weighed in with His glorious Word.

2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

It seems to me that there’s a fundamental principle here. You become that which you gaze upon.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was one for looking in a mirror. He was so captured by his own beauty that he lay by the side of a lake and gazed upon his reflection until he wasted away and died. You see…he was a shallow creature and he was transformed from shallow to shallow as he beheld himself. I wonder how he continued to see himself as beautiful as his skin sank upon his skull and his rosy color faded to grey. Eventually he was the most shallow thing of all…a corpse, a vacant shell.

I haven’t been wasting away physically. But as I have gazed, physically and mentally, upon myself - I have seen my faults gradually intensifying. I have watched myself transform from imperfect to imperfect-er as I filled my vision with little ole me. And as I said, strangely enough, even my physical vision of my body has changed, though the body hasn’t. What I see no longer pleases me. I am discontented, restless and irritable…

But I see from God’s word that there is a better way. If I gaze upon the glory of the Lord, I will be transformed to be like Him! But where can I see Him?

First and foremost, in His Word. (saw that one coming, didn’tcha? ) As I become saturated with Scripture, I will be transformed in spite of myself! Funny thing, we’re starting a study of Philippians over on One Weigh. I was working on mine last night and one of the questions was essentially “What one thing do you think you should work on now?” There were so many good choices - just in the first chapter or two. Do nothing from selfishness…Do NOT grumble… But God popped me with one little phrase “Hold fast the word of life”. I firmly believe that right now He just wants me to focus with all my might on packing my head full of His Word. Meditating on it. Reciting it. Praying it. As I gaze upon this, His likeness, He will transform me No, He is transforming me!

Where else can I see Him?

In the beauty of His Creation, of course. Even in a not-so-lovely desert city like El Paso, there is plenty of God to be seen. The beauty of the mountains on the horizon. The deliciousness of sunshine and spring temperatures. The power of the winds, and the surprise of the occasional storm…

And I can see Him in His people. I hadn’t really thought about that before. I can see Him in Bill, with his tenderness and his gift for encouragement. I can see Him in Heather, abounding in hope and faith. I can see Him in the love for one another which is constantly shown on group blogs like the Thinklings and One Weigh. And I can see Him moving to heal and to triumph through dear sisters and brothers in my life. He’s everywhere!

If you’re like me, and don’t like what you see in the mirror this morning, try filling your focus with the glory of the Lord!

Many years ago, I loved the sitcom News Radio. One of my favorite episodes was when the radio personnel were all reviewed in a trade magazine. In the midst of glowing reviews for his colleagues, News Announcer Bill McNeal, magnificently played by the great Phil Hartman, had been described as merely adequate. Bill must always be superior, so he spent all day acting as if adequate were the highest praise a person could possibly receive, and that his co-workers must be jealous of the honor. One of my favorite bits is when he says with delicious smugness that he is “replete with adequatiquacity”.

I can identify with Bill, can you? I never wanted to be merely adequate. Throughout my school years and beyond, I have been blessed to be able to excel in several areas. In all honesty, I am really gifted at a lot of different things. But then God gave me children…And I found out that, in all honesty, I am not really gifted at being a homemaker and a mom. I love my kids, don’t get me wrong. And I have a few good points as a mother. But on the whole, I am definitely not going down in history as one of the great mothers. (and don’t start telling me I’m too hard on myself, this post is not a plea for reassurance!) In many ways, I am inadequate to this incredibly challenging and important responsibility.

But…

2 Corinthians 3:4,5 Such is our confidence through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves - but our adequacy is from God

All those gifts I prided myself on? I do well to remember they don’t come from me. I have nothing that I have not been given. And just as I did not give myself my singing voice, or my talent for writing, or my freakishly good memory…I am not the source of my maternal adequacy. God is working in me to make me adequate to the calling He has given. In Him, the giver of all good things, I will be/am replete with adequatiquacity!

I can get excited about that kind of adequate!

You haven’t been to chef school. You might be able to feed yourself, barely. But you couldn’t possibly adequately prepare food to safely feed your family. Henceforth, if you have not been to chef school and received your degree, you will not be allowed to cook for your family. You MUST get your food from properly trained chefs, even if you don’t like what they cook.

Because we know that it’s just not possible for you to read the recipe, follow it, and make something nourishing.

Ten Little Known Facts About Blest

1. Blest cannot be detected by infrared cameras!
2. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of blest!
3. Scientists believe that blest began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.
4. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as blest!
5. Blest can be seen from space.
6. About one tenth of blest is permanently covered in ice!
7. Blest can sleep with one eye open!
8. Blest is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature!
9. Worldwide, blest is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects.
10. Blest was first discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return!

Hat Tip Jared the mighty candle buyer
Do yours here!

I really should stop reading the news. Is it just me, or does it seem like things are getting darker and darker? I have to say, and this is about much more than the coming election, that I don’t feel very positive about the future of my beloved country at the moment. And that’s not really pessimism. It’s realism. The Bible doesn’t exactly paint a rosy picture of the future of humanity here on Earth. It is is going to get darker. Here we dwell in shadow.

I’ve just finished my annual reading of The Lord of the Rings, and the more I read that marvelous work, the more I am struck by Sam. Frodo and Sam were in a dark, dark place. Deep in the heart of the realm of evil, with a seemingly impossible task and virtually no hope for survival even if the task would be completed, yet they trudged on. They were weary. They were overwhelmed. They were surrounded by enemies and besieged by despair. Yet…

“Now you go to sleep first, Mr Frodo,” he said. “It’s getting dark again. I reckon this day is nearly over.”

Frodo sighed and was asleep almost before the words were spoken. Sam struggled with his own weariness, and he took Frodo’s hand; and there he sat silent till deep night fell. Then at last, to keep himself awake, he crawled from the hiding place, and looked out. The land seemed full of creaking and cracking and sly noises, but there was no sound of voice or of foot. Far above the Ephel Duath in the West the night-sky was still dim and pale. There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach. ~The Return Of The King by J.R.R. Tolkien

I’ve been studying verses on stars. One I memorized yesterday was Job 22:12

Is not God in the height of heaven? Look at the stars, how high they are!

When we look up from the forsaken land…we remember that there is a high beauty far beyond the reach of evil. And light. We have light!

Micah 7:7,8 But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord. I will wait for the God of my Salvation. My God will hear me.
Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall, I will rise. Though I dwell in darkness, My God is a light for me.

If you are in darkness, look up. Look up literally to the height of the heavens, to the beauty of God’s creation that still surrounds us no matter the ugliness of our surrounding terrain. And look to the light of the Word, clinging to the promises we have been repeatedly given. God does not promise that He will take us out of the darkness on any timetable other than His own, but He does promise to be our light.