One of the things about mommy-ing that no one ever tells you, or if they do you don’t believe them, is that a good deal of the time you have NO idea what you are doing. I just read a Calvin and Hobbes where the dad was complaining that if he had known that most of adulthood was ad-lib he wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to get there. Amen to that, brother! So many times when your little darlings throw curve balls at you like a sudden hysterical aversion to running water or a tendency to mistake one’s brother for a chew toy - you pretty much just tie a knot in the end of your rope and hang on, hoping you don’t scar the little buggers for life in the process.
Today, however, was not one of those times!
Not too long ago I had two sunny, smelly yard apes waltz into my kitchen. “Can we come in and wash our hands?” they said to me. Well, having two boys, ages six and seven, actually ASK to wash their hands is novelty enough to make my day right there, but it gets better. Of course I said yes and off they went to purify their palms. Life was good.
I saw the bathroom.
Life was not good.
And yet it was, for I, superMommy, actually knew what to do. I didn’t even hesitate. Not for one moment did I consider the heinous and evil suggestion that perhaps I should clean the bathroom. Oh no, not I. With confident bearing, I strode purposefully to the kitchen door, flung it open, and brightly invited the dynamic dirty duo to come on in ’cause they had some cleaning to do. They were less than thrilled. But in they came and out they cleaned. I must confess that my neighbor’s son was quicker to action than my own. [I think that is a manifestation of the phenomenon that other mommies are infinitely scarier than your own mommy - but it’s just a theory.] My son ambled in and actually managed to get here as his buddy finished cleaning the sink. (have I mentioned that he’s a genius?) “Look Mom, Dwayne’s done already” and he turned to go back outside. “No problem son,” said superMommy, faster than a speeding Swiffer, “Here’s the dustbuster, you can clean the floor.”
Sometimes I love my job.