My husband was out of town for about half of last week. As is customary, he called me every night around what should have been bedtime (why oh why do I stay up so late when he’s not here?) to chit-chat and say goodnight. As is not customary, he also called me in the daytime almost every day he was gone. I am not used to such attentions! He didn’t have a question or anything! He just wanted to check-in and say “Hi”. Weird. 
During one of the night-time phone calls, as I was thinking about his unusual attentiveness, I said, “You know… I think you like me better now that I’ve lost all this weight” There was a strained silence, broken faintly by sputtering on the end. I listened to this with much bemusement - which swiftly became amusement as I realized what I had done to the poor man. “Oh! I’m sorry honey! I wasn’t trying to trap you - I was just running my mouth. You don’t have to answer that.” I mean really. That’s right up there with “Does this outfit make me look fat?” as a conversational landmine. Don’t say a word, fellas, just run!
After I set him free from his tongue-tied terror (the fear of the wife is the beginning of…never mind), he did contribute to the conversation. “Well…you are a lot happier now”
You know, it’s funny. When we were in our earlier years of marriage, going through the rough patches which many young couples face who are selfish clueless boneheads, I wanted more attention - more affection. And being overweight and insecure, I often thought that my weight had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t getting what I wanted. I thought this was horribly unjust, by the way. As a matter of fact, I told my husband in no uncertain terms, “You know - if I lose all the weight someday and you all of a sudden turn into everything I’ve ever wanted - affectionate and attentive and romantic and all - I’m going to kill you!” See, I thought that if he changed because I lost weight, that would mean he didn’t love me the way I was.
Well. I’ve lost the weight - or at least a good chunk of it. I’m thinner now than I was when I got married. And according to my mother, I’m better looking than I’ve ever been. (she might be a bit biased though) And lo, my husband is more attentive and more affectionate. (no word yet on the more romantic part - I’ll keep you posted) Should he get a restraining order? Does he face an unknown terror at home? (well, there are the four boys - but he knows them) Nope. Much to my amazement, it doesn’t bother me at all that he’s changed. Why shouldn’t he change? I’ve changed! Like he said, it’s not just that I look better now - though it only makes sense that he would be delighted about that. My whole demeanor has changed. I’m more fun now! I smile more. I laugh all the time. I dance while I’m cooking and boogie while I clean. Why wouldn’t he find this woman more fun to pay attention to than the depressed and frumpy one he used to live with? I like to tease him now that he has it made. He is getting the new, young looking, pretty trophy wife for his latter years as a Marine officer - without the customary hassle of divorcing the old wife! 
You know, people love to yammer about how love is supposed to be unconditional. And really, it is. But romance is most definitely not unconditional. Ask any sleep-and-shower-deprived mother of a two week old infant as she sits in her spit-up stained nightgown if romance is conditional, she’ll tell ya! My husband has loved me steadily through all these years. He’s been loyal, helpful, and a true friend. I think it was a bit much for me to also expect him to be doting, affectionate, and infatuated with a woman who wasn’t always all that and a bag of chips. (well, I was a bag of chips -that was the problem!) Don’t get me wrong - I haven’t been a total harpy. But I wasn’t very happy…and better to live on the corner of the roof than with an unhappy woman, eh?
I’m just pondering… I see and hear people complain about how awful it is that you get treated differently when you lose weight and look better. Oh how shallow people are!, they say. But the simple fact is, that when you look and feel better, you aren’t the same person you were before. You’re happier. You like yourself more. It only stands to reason that other people, including your nearest and dearest, will find you much more attractive - inside and out!